put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
