I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
