even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
