i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
