wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your penis caused this!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
