but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
