I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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