Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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