his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
