i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
