Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
