I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
