remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
