Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
