He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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