I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
