he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
