my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
