I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Vodka?
Forever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
