also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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