i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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