So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
