As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
