the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
