This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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