so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
