I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
