I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
