Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize