Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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