sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
