Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
