I'm lost and stupid without you.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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