I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
did you just send me my own nude
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
