I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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