It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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