How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Farmville is her only friend.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
