I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
