I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
