i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
