i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
