just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize