i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
