I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
