im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
