I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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