why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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