im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
