The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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