Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
