What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
