I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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