I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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