don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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