How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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