it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
