ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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