no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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